


Loving yourself is the greatest revolution

by LargePumpkin



Series: Lams one shots [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Bulimia, Eating Disorders, Fluff, It Gets Better, M/M, bulimic john laurens, he is my sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9839189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LargePumpkin/pseuds/LargePumpkin
Summary: John Laurens has a flat stomach. It's not enough.(It actually is very fluffy)Prompt 14-“Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”





	

John stared at himself in the mirror. He had fairly well toned muscles in his arms and legs, but on his stomach it was not toned. He knew that he had a flat stomach and he was at the right weight for his height and age, but he wanted to be skinnier. The less fat on him, the better the muscle was defined. He had just finished eating dinner with Alex and there was a short window of time before he wouldn't be able to purge. 

He kneeled down in front of the toilet and stuck two fingers down his throat. The bile exited his mouth and into the porcelain bowl. He hated the taste of it (who likes it) but the feeling of calories leaving him was better than any taste. 

 

 

Outside the bathroom, Alex walked by and heard John throwing up. He turned white. Three weeks ago he had forgotten to flush and told Alex he was sick. Two weeks ago when he thought he heard John vomiting, John denied it. One week ago, he claimed to have had eaten bad food. This was past the point of being sick or food poisoning and he was really beginning to worry. Slowly he turned the handle and found that John had forgotten to lock the door. 

"John..." Alex had tears in his eyes. He didn't want to believe that his beautiful boyfriend though that he needed to throw up to be okay. A few tears betrayed him by rolling down his cheek. 

 

 

"Alex... I can explain." He could. He just really really didn't want to. "I just need to get a little bit more weight off and then I'll stop."   
"John, you don't need to do this. You are the most handsome person that i've ever had the opportunity to meet." John looked at the ground. "Can you tell my why you wanted to do this?" Suddenly the taller man was filled with not just sadness but also anger. 

"Fricking Jefferson." Tears started falling faster. "We saw each other in a cafe a few weeks ago. I had just finished a really intense workout so I decided to treat myself." He sniffled. Alex was rubbing circles on his back reassuringly. "We made polite conversation but then the subject of you came up. I told him how we're engaged and he got really angry for some reason. He said that we didn't deserve to love each other. I had a pastry in front of me and he looked at me like he was disgusted. He said 'you're just a fat pig about to get married to a sarcastic know-it-all. Maybe you are the perfect match.' He was crying harder than he ever had before. "I tried to let it roll off my back but every time I looked at food, I couldn't help but think of what he said."

 

Alex was furious at Jefferson. He had made his perfect fiancee bulimic. He was going to pay for that. But first, he needed to help John.   
"I'll take care of Jefferson later. You are my first priority." They were hugging and John's head rested on Alex's shoulder. "I'm going to do it with you. We're going to have smaller meals and gradually introduce more food. Then I'm going to stay with you so you won't purge. Do you think you can handle that?" John nodded. It was going to be tough, but with Alex, he could do it. 

 

 

~one day later~

"Madison!" Alex called. He saw Jefferson's boyfriend; James Madison walking on the other side of the street and decided to have a little chat. "I finally have a real reason to hate your boyfriend." Madison rolled his eyes. "What'd he do this time?" Alex could tell he didn't think Jefferson did something horrible, but he was wrong. "He called my boyfriend a fat pig and gave him an eating disorder so you better pray that I don't see him for a long time or else I don't know what i'll do to him. You're going to talk to him I expect."

Madison's mouth hung open. He couldn't believe that Thomas had done that. "Oh I'm definitely talking to him about this. Thanks for telling me Hamilton." He pulled out his phone and walked away, already angrily speaking. 

Later that night when Alex and John were watching a movie Alex turned to John and said "Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always. We're going to get through this together."  
They spent the rest of the night cuddling, watching movies and loving each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr and we can yell about stuff :) https://www.tumblr.com/blog/largepumpkin  
> Please comment and give kudos because i live off of attention  
> P.S. You're going to get 2 or 3 fics from me tonight because I'm having a really bad day so i'm projecting my feeling on characters. If you ever need advice or need to talk, message me on tumblr because my blog is an accepting place. Stay safe sweethearts <3


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